Who'd want to be a louse that lives on heads I mean to say
some heads are full of scabs and greasy
dandruff, and a day
spent crawling through that undergrowth
Watch out a dirty nail!
Comes crashing down upon me
and grooves a bloody trail

I'm off mate, if I'm lucky
I'll jump on top of you
Long blonde hair you seem to care
Sweet smelling, eyes of blue

Wow I think your lovely
But then I have to say
Blimey darling what do you use
Coal Tar, night and day
it burns my private bits it does
sorry I must fly
the tube train is a splendid place
and I just got on this guy

He's got loads of dreadlocks
And there's lice already here
And all of them are females
My luck has changed its clear
No soap,no cream its just a dream
I'm on cloud 9 okay
I'll share an inch of scalp
with her
before I go away

And so we danced together
Amongst the dreadlocked hair
playing with his amber beads
we just did not care
2 lovers, gay abandon
Alas a louse can sing
The ballad of the love sick louse
That now has everything